Fire Investigator T-Shirts

'Heard you had a fire last night.' 'Sh-h-h! It's tonight.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Quality Control

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Diet considerations.'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.