Fire Drill Day Pillows

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Love your ambiance!"

No Smoking.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Letsby Avenue

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

'As a Health and Safety officer, he likes to let his hair down at the weekends.'

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

"Fire down."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

'It's primarily a toaster, but it has a lot of secondary functions.'

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

The discovery of fire and comedy

'Of course you can play with fire Dear...'

"Madam - with this new 'Automatic Fire Delivery System', rubbing two sticks together will be a thing of the past...!"

The boys were delighted, when Jed showed them an old fire eating trick with a flaming arrow.

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

'The stove must have been on for about four days. The neighbors said that's about how often you came home.'

History Of Fire

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

'Doc, I feel completely burned out.'

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

'Wait until the tobacco companies hear about this!'

Some people don't know whent to quit.