Fire Captain Gifts

"You're going in a diet!'

"Captain, I'm burned out!"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Woman escapes with cats.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Captain steering house through flood.

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

The New Normal

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.