Fire Fighter Gifts

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"According to new health and safety rules, you need to have a fire fighter present when you light this many candles."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Smokey The Tree"

Woman escapes with cats.

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

No Smoking.

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"