Finishing Law School Pillows

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"What's a patent?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

I love Lawyers

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Barristers

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Truth

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'