Law School Graduate Pillows

"My client requests a change of venue to a jurisdiction where his criminal activities are not a crime."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"What's a patent?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Truth

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

"We make crime pay."

Do Guns Kill?

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'