Graduating Law School Pillows

'Have I lapsed into legalese?'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

Law School Contracts 101: Writing with words nobody can understand.

"As a mitigating circumstance, may I say that my client's getaway car was a hybrid."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

'Would you like my professional advice, or my honest opinion?.'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'Is there anyway that I could specialize in corporate law and still be one of the good guys.'

"It was right here in this park, Jamie, that I was inspired to become an attorney, when Vinnie Maroney beat me to a pulp."

'Look, I'm sorry... but you could hardly expect me to remember every little thing I learned in Law School...'

"We spent our everything putting John through law school. Fortunately, he's a bankruptcy attorney."

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

'Are you sure? - I don't feel guilty.'

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

'Finishing law school was easy compared to finding an office.'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

I love Lawyers

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

'Who ever says crime doesn't pay isn't a lawyer!'

'Naturally, the list of those of us receiving law degrees would be in small print.'

"Sustained!—Prosecution will kindly refrain from flaring its hood."

"Don't worry about a thing, I'm the best lawyer in town."

'You can check out that legal text as soon as the computer lets it go.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Lawyers - A counsel who is apparently filled with the deepest conviction ... that his client will pay him well.

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

Courtroom drama

'Judge Mental.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'