Fine Dining Funny Bone Gifts

Of course, I will have to charge you corkage...

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Fish in Water Cooler.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Eucharist

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'