Fine Dining Funny Bone Gifts

Of course, I will have to charge you corkage...

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"