Finding Nemo Fan Pillows

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"Frosty the Repairman"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

Vampire Day Job - Hypnotherapist

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

mr godzilla you need anger management

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'Your brains are scrambled.'

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

'No you can't keep it!'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'What's bright green and scaly, has nine-inch teeth, and eats clubs?'

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"

The beginning of humans: A new theory.

"Travel changed me."

Politically correct Xmas presents

"I'm here to warn people about the destruction caused by Global Warming."

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'C'mon, Jeffrey...there has to be a time when people weren't so stupid and annoying.'

The GOP presents: Bachmann vs Palin! Battle for the dinosaur vote!

"I graduated magma cum laude."

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."