Financially Confused Friends Gifts

TELLER, 'How do I go about getting a credit card refilled?'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

Expensive greeting cards.

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

No Money

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Remember, son, what doesn't kill you, makes you poorer."

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'I sympathize, but you can't file for mortgage forclosure. It has to be bankruptcy.'

'I need something to wear to a bankruptcy hearing.'

Things of the past...

"Remember when all this was free?"

Display of graduation cards labeled: over $10,000 in loans; over $25,000 in loans; over $50,000 in loans; over $100,00 in loans

'So when I couldn't pay the mortgage, the bank offered me this rescue package!'

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

'You can't jump, Mr. Kramer...you need to sign our paychecks.'

'Good news for people who hide their money under the mattress.'

"I hate to say it, but we're mortgaged to the hilt."

"You should have come to me sooner."

"Have beer and fags gone up, yet?"

Bankruptcy court

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"I told you we'd lose the house."

" I thought you wanted to know how much you had in your account."

Heating Bill Prison

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

"Wait, save your money."