Financial Windfall Gifts

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...

'What can you suggest for someone who guessed right on technology stocks?'

Fund manager greeting a man who has found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Shelia had become an 'outback' Lotto winner!

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Banker's Ecstasy - coming into some money.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

I got the raise

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

'After reaching new heights, the stock market closed early due to an oubreak of acrophobia.'

'You overpaid, but it's not enough to cover the 'Overpayment Surcharge Tax'.'

"Time for thaw awkward father son talk. You know, the one about fluctuating interest rates and instability in the markets."

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"I think I finally understand inflation."

Laughing man running, throwing money in the air.

"... but when the broadcasting company sent him $5,000 for his first script we laughed out of the other side of our mouths."