Financial Systems Buff Pillows

Empty safe

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Mario Draghi

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Standard & Poor

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

I brake for federal bailouts.

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.