Financial Reform Buff Pillows

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Mario Draghi

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

I brake for federal bailouts.

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

Mr. Dow meeting Mr. Jones

Minimum wage.

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

The truth about the death of the Dinosaurs.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'Makes you feel insignificant, doesn't it?'

Euro Discobolus

'The financial services economy has shrunk again.'

Bank Robbery Statistics

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

Man applying Eurobond glue to broken Piggy bank

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"I know some of you were wondering why I wanted to have the shareholders meeting in the stairwell."

Economic casualties.

'Investors Chronicle' "How do I know whether to buy it or not?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'