Financial Sweetheart T-Shirts

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"Recess does things to a man."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

You Are Here

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

We found each other the first time either of us tried online dating! It was love at first website!

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

"I know where we stand right now, Dr. Heisenberg, but where are we going?"

'I like you, Susan, you have an intuitive interface.'

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

"Are bringing your new girlfriend to the office party?"

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

Kissing at the Movies

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'? We're at the cinema!'

Penguin and polar bear watching Eskimos throw snowballs.

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"Hollywood knows if they make sappy, romantic movies, girls will drag their stupid boyfriends to the theater. I can't wait to be dragged to a chick flick."

How you can tell you're in a committed relationship...

"I love you in theory."

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

'Jeremy and I have decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

The Stock Market Giveth. . . The Stock Market Taketh Away.

'I'll be seeing you again right after our Quarterly Earnings Report.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'It's not quite as bad as it looks - they're only witholding payment until we publish our expenses.'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."