Financial Planning Milestone Gifts

Ostrich head in sand.

"If we don't give up the cars, holidays and meals out we'll never save enough in our pension to have a decent retirement."

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Watering Money

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Graph Your Relatives!

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'