Financial Literacy Milestone Gifts

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

True Debate Fun

Low standard of living

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."