Financial Literacy Milestone Gifts

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

Low standard of living

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."