Financial Planner's Delight Gifts

Social Security is unable to support the weight of America's baby boomers.

'Growing old gracefully ... But frantically trying to keep in step with the cost of living!'

'In a nutshell, we're a middle-income family with upper-income tastes.'

Let's Go Out!

They grow up so fast. So we're already money away for bail.

'Count your blessings, and then be sure to report all of them!'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

European currency on the edge.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'