Financial Knight Pillows

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Super Student

Soaring Profits

Why markets crash.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'Wait a minute....!

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Business News.

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

"..and if the chairman rings, find out who he is."

I love being right.

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'