Fiscal Knight Pillows

'Instead of a medal, could you just give me a tax cut?'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Beware of the 4th quarter.

"So tell me again about the disastrous effects the Biden infrastructure plan will have on the deficit that you're suddenly so concerned about. . ."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'The financial services economy has shrunk again.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'It's your debt to society.'

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"We Republicans must focus on our core values."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

Euro crisis bailout.

"The dow is over 21,000!"

"When it comes to balancing the budget, unfortunately he has the minus touch."

U.S.S. Budget

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'

"I was worried about the fiscal budget. It's not like we can just print more money. Then I remembered, we're the government...of course we can just print more!"

'They take promotions seriously here.'

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

Old: In God We Trust. New: God Help Us.

Congressional Trimming

'I warned them! I told them the sky is falling! The sky is falling! But, this time nobody listened.'

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"