Fiscal Friend Pillows

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'What's wrong now?'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

"I just..."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'I wish I was creative'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

"I'm going in."

'Sorry, we don't think you've got quite the right background.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

No Swimming Allowed

'How much did you save this year?'

"We're going to need more pets."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'