Fiscal Friend Gifts

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'What's wrong now?'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

"I just..."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'I wish I was creative'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

'How much did you save this year?'

"We're going to need more pets."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Jacques Cousteau.

"I'm going in."

'Sorry, we don't think you've got quite the right background.'

No Swimming Allowed