Corporate Knight Pillows

'They take promotions seriously here.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Career Choices

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"Best project manager we ever had."

Under new blame.

Fish and color

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.