Corporate Hero Pillows

"I used to lose my secretaries because they were getting married - now they leave to start their own companies."

"Don't pay any attention. Simmons is always yelling 'Wolf' about something."

"We're counting on you to save this company, Fitzgerald.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"I'm in the market for a good sidekick."

"Before we start: Phones on mute. Go-bags under your chairs."

The sword or the briefcase in the stone

Businesswoman Empowerment

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Office slaves.

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

National Boss Monument.

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

Work Slave

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

Counting part time employees is the new math.