Financial Future Ponderer Pillows

'My wife has increased the retirement age to 75...'

"Having looked at your forecast the best advice I can give you is to die a little earlier!"

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

Day trading.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Totalitarian Humour

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Have you seen my money?

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Trumped

Business Philosophy 101.

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

"Forget keeping all your eggs in one basket. What you need is a nest egg..."

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'Are you interested in a fixed income annuity with guaranteed safety of principal and substantial income for life?'

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

'How rich is too rich?'

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

"I don't know about you, but I thought we'd be fully vested by the time we reached 4th grade."

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Why does my investment portfolio have a toe tag?"

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'