Financial Forensics Fan Gifts

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

European currency on the edge.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Economy - USA.

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

What do you suggest we do about this?

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Born to raise interest rates.

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'