Financial Folklore Fan Pillows

Sub-prime Bear

"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Loan Alley

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Greek Crisis

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

Golden bubbles

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'