Financial Fiction Fanatic Pillows

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Jack of all trades

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Television Readers.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

Annual profits,

Characters jumping out of a book.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'