Financial Distress Gifts

'Children, remember me saying that Santa was quite poorly? Well, I've got some very sad news...'

In case of insolvency break glass.

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

Fuel price inflation - Burning hopes and dreams

'We're e-bankrupt.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Wanna talk about it?

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Sales

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

'She is waiting to be recovered, but financially.'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

'Lost my shirt in the market ! Kept some dignity with hat & tie.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

No Money