Financial Distress Gifts

'Children, remember me saying that Santa was quite poorly? Well, I've got some very sad news...'

In case of insolvency break glass.

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

Fuel price inflation - Burning hopes and dreams

'We're e-bankrupt.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

Sales

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

Moving. Mortgage payments bankrupted them. I guess "housebroken" means something different in their case.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

'She is waiting to be recovered, but financially.'