Financial Discussion Warrior Gifts

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Student Debt

"We got the cactus account!"

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Breaking Through

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'