Book Discussion Warrior Gifts

"Walden'?! Are you insane? Do you have any idea how elusive transcendental philosophy is to a 13-year-old prepubescent juvenile delinquent?!"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

'And in conclusion.'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"Tell us something we don't know."

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

"Long time commenter, first time reader. . ."

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'Thanks for coming in. Whoever gets the job will call you next week and let you know our decision.'

E-mail

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

The Doomed Character

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'I don't know anything about anything, but I'm great at looking stuff up!'

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

Contrary opinions matter

Always right.

"'When will the endless meetings stop?' Are you trying to get something done?!!!"