Financial Cowboy Gifts

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

"Let's scoot."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

Wild West Text Showdown

"You lose your phone again, Rusty?"

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"Stocks go up, stock go down. That's why I jump with a bungee cord."

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"The boss use to herd cattle before he started the company."

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

DOW Industrial Average.

'Welcome aboard. Dress code is Urban Boer.'

'I think it's something religious. Every time my dad looks at it, he says 'Oh my God!'.'

Zoom Rodeos

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

'They were two payroll cowboys riding together.'

'We have an excellent investment counselor and if things don't work out, an equally good investment therapist.'

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

"I don't think so, Ted!"