Financial Commentary Enthusiast Gifts

"My report is on money."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

Liquidity Lunch

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

Financial Bailout Required.

Art Show - I like this one, it's called 'FT up 90'.

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'The Dollar is down, so he's worshipping the Euro.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

Euro crisis.

Monday is 'Casino Night'.

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."

No recession: 'It's the worst boom year we've had in years'

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

"Speculators found it was a bear market so they decided to hibernate."

'I'm a redundant bank teller.'

'I wish European economies were less shaky!'

Credit Crunch Man.

"Nothing puts me in the holiday spirit like a bailout."