Financial Audits Pillows

'Any other hidden operating expenses you haven't told me about?'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

Panama Papers Scandal

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Counting dollars

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Carpe De Revenue!"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'