Auditing Pillows

'Did you get any feedback on that audit report?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Penny Saved, Penny Earned.

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

'Top brass want us to be more disciplined about how we handle money...how much have we got left?' - 'About two and a half draws full!'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

Hiking Trail/Audit Trail

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

'We'd better schedule an autopsy audit.'

'We cannot accept you deduction of the taxes you paid last year as a bad investment.'

Loophole and Fiddle Accountants

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

"Even if you and your friends do drink to each other's health, you can't use your bar tab for a medical expense."

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

"These numbers are way off. But I do like them better than the auditor's numbers."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

The auditor gets audited.

'It took me years to learn how to look at taxpayers like a hungry predator looks at it's helpless prey!'

"Tell him the Big Bad Wolf is here."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'The hours are short, there's no night work, and, best of all, you don't need a fence.'

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

Income Tax Return

We Know You're Lying!

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"No, no - first you fill out the customer evaluation form, and THEN we'll do the audit."

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

The Lone Auditor