Finance Realist T-Shirts

Lockey Investment Company: 'Sometimes exceeding your expectations in a sober, downturn, 21st century lower-expectations way.'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

World Production.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

'Kids, come quick! Santa's been here and he left all kinds of super expensive, super cheap stuff!'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'Forget that pension plan. We expect the company to belly-up in two to three years.'