Finance Newcomer Gifts

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

Great Chinese Dynasties

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

A child runs an equity stand.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Batman's Baby

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Money Plant.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Tempest in a Teapot

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'