Finance Farce Lover Gifts

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Federal Guidelines

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

I can't believe It!

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

Bank of England Suspends Gold Payments Following Run on the Banks

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'It's a bill collector!'