Finance Fairy Gifts

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

"It's just as easy to love a man with a pension as to love a man without one."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Sub-prime Bear

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Goodbye cruel world."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'