Film Storytelling Aficionado T-Shirts

Quentin Tarantino

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

Victor Hugo

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Getting to Know You

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

This side is the gag reel.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Moby Dick

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"This is what's known as a book."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'