Film Storytelling Aficionado T-Shirts

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Moby Dick

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Hansel and Gretal

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."