Film Sets Gifts

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Horror movies

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Stand-up Romcom

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Bloody hell!"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

The star hunters