Film Sets Prints

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Horror movies

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Comedy Cafe

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Stand-up Romcom

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."