Film-loving Parents Gifts

'School report, cert. PG.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

Harriet Walter

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

"All my life is passing before me - including the deleted scenes..."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'Not quite the effect I was going for.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

For Sale - The rights to my story.

"Don't worry, it's just a phrase she's going through."

Oliver Reed-Twist: 'I'll arm wrestle you for some more.'

"And here's the part when Fred realized he forgot to take the lens cap off the camcorder."

'This used to be such a nice neighborhood ... mob killings, family arguments, open sewers ...'

Darth Vader looks forward to the weekend

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

Subtitles are often used in film productions

"I could've done without all the wisecracky stuff for adults."

"I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

'Sign here! In the event that I sell book or movie rights to your case, confidentiality can be waived.'

"You were never in The Birds..."