Family Film Fanatic Gifts

Not Suitable for Adults

"I know that everything reminds you of 'Frozen', but you've just got to let it go."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Werewolves of London..."

What's an Imax cave?

Reese Witherspoon

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

Giant slug attacks a city

'She posted her first blog today.'

I love my family!

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

Star Wars Audience

Mother's Love

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Haven't you already seen this movie, like, a hundred times?"

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"Which part are you reading for?"

It's a Boy

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.