Film-loving Author Gifts

"Soon to be a motion picture."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Spoiler alert."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

Kirsten Johnson

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Harriet Walter

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'