Film Fanatic's Delight Gifts

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Werewolves of London..."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Big screen TV falling through floor

Giant slug attacks a city

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Star Wars Audience

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."