Fighting Skills Pillows

Karate

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"Ninja bread men"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

Karataoke

'Remember me?'

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'You may now kick the bride.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"