Fighting Skills Pillows

Karate

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"Ninja bread men"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

'Remember me?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Epic Battles

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Martial Arts

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Old Karate Master

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'