Field Guide Fan Gifts

'Are we ready to order?'

'Hmmm, identifiable markings: striped shirt, whistle. Ah, he must be refereeus footballicus.'

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Centaur Sprinter

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Did you hear? Marco Polo went to China in search of herbs and spices. Wow! The first instance of thyme travel!

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'Never shoot straight up.'

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

The Cud Food Guide

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Caddy With A Cool Box

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

"My guess is that you're not the first European here.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

You've probably heard of "White Coat Syndrome," the phenomenon in which patients exhibit a high blood pressure level in a clinical setting, even though they don't in other settings. Well, you won't get away with that here.

"Now, don't move, I'm going to practice my high jump and need a good landing mattress..."

'No, there is no such thing as generic doctors!'

Football fan

Prisoner does Shot Put with an Ankle Ball and Chain

Rory McIlroy