Fido's Consultant Gifts

Missing Persons - 'Can you describe him.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

No Soliciting

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Good boy

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

'Having conducted a comprehensive review of your business strategy and financial forecasts...'

"He said eat some grass and call him in the morning."

'Since my bone marrow transplant, the dog doesn't know me!'

"I'm a highly skilled service companion specifically trained to help people with disabilities such as visual impairment, PTSD and other disorders."

Go get it! Good boy! I'm more motivated by carrots than by sticks!

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

What sort of job are you after?

'Frankly, I can't really see the future, but I will sniff your hand.'

'Guess what, Squaw? Me finally teach Running Dog to fetch my moccasins.'

So your idea is that we reorientate our global production to place more emphasis on small chewy things that taste of meat...EVERYBODY'S opinion is of value( even if some may be of more use than others)

Walkaholics Anonymous

"Can you come outside and help me. It appears Fido and I have tied the knot... "

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

I'll bark, and you bark the first thing that comes to mine.'

"They think they're accidents."

He'll 'stay' all right...on the velcro dogmat.

"The Hodal deal ….. It doesn't pass the smell test."

'Dr. Griggs here specializes in anthropomorphic pets.'

'Trust me kid: You never really know if you have a good master until you stop being cute...'

"Any other suggestions?"