Fetching Gifts

'Doing tricks is a slippery slope.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'He's found his inner puppy!'

"He's into binge fetching."

Playing Fetch.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

A man and his dog

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Super Dog'

"I'm working from home today."

"A little help, please."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

Super hero dog.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

Frizzbee statue.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

'...Sometimes the sheer monotony of it all just gets me down.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Gimme a triple shot. I can't face another hour of 'Fetch boy!' without some caffeinated fortitude."

'Tired of fetching?'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."