Fetch Extraordinaire Gifts

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

Playing Fetch.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'That was fun!'

'Fetch.'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

A man and his dog

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Super Dog'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"I'm working from home today."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"A little help, please."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

Super hero dog.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Boy and his dog

"Have you tried biting him?"

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

Frizzbee statue.

'I'll fetch your newspaper and your pipe, but the slippers thing is just too kinky.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

'...Sometimes the sheer monotony of it all just gets me down.'

"Gimme a triple shot. I can't face another hour of 'Fetch boy!' without some caffeinated fortitude."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."